Higgs Bachan .. Satya Bachan Reply

Once Amitabh Boson, Higgs Boson and Abhisek [abhi sek barna marunga] Boson were walking together. What were they talking?

Amitabh: Higgs Higgs look at my son. He is just about your age. You give mass to everyone. But he doesn’t know a fucking thing.

Abhisek goes: Pappa, Pappa. pL. ok. I can dance.

Amitabh goes: Ok Higgs but he doesn’t talk well in those movies, he flaps his lips like some kind of municipality dog trying to devour Mumbai shit. [Just joking ok, I hardly saw any of his movies, that I am not joking]

Higgs: OK OK stop fighting heart-throbs of Indian women. I know one way how he can be a better actor.

Ami and Abhi go together .. tell us tell us

Higgs goes: Change your career. Go into politics. There nobody will look at how you are flapping your lips or giving someone mass or not. Actually mass gives you. Vote.

They go yea its a good idea. Hhow do we start?

Higgs goes. Go into one of those riots in your city. Draw a very concerned and active roles. Incite people to violence but be sure never get caught. Never even touch someone. Have your picture taken at various places. Even have yourself depicted as a victim of police or mob excess. Have your name flashed in the newspaper that covers the riots. Then pay some money to the journalists and sit in your office and talk concernedly when they interview you. Ofcourse you are already good at speaking [in movies] into cameras. [ee kya garam he re baba, are Ac .. han.. use to ham ne band karbaya tha. Janta ki peisee see chalta hee AC. Usee ham aksar band kartee hen. Bilkuul na Gandhi Jii ka principle. Kam pehno. Kam bat karo. Kam AC chalao, aram haram hee. journalist janee ke bad Ac chalao] You will gradually go up in the ladder of fame and statesmanship. Power and wealth will just flow to you.

Ami and Abhi go: Thanks Higgs Voh-jan. We will also consider our women folks to join us in such a lucrative career. Jaya is already into many duels with political figures over citizen’s concern. A. Roy is a bit paranoid when it comes to anything except glamor. We will convince her that politics is a far better glamorous world than anywhere else. [Actually this M. Dash guy doesn’t know a thing. He thinks Science is a glamorous world, nobody even knows him]

Higgs: yea .. and anytime you need some particle-mass don’t feel heldback. Call me on my tollfree number. 1800-Higgs-the-mass-giver. I will see if we have enough mass in our banks. I will be more than happy to help you guys out.

And please consider a career in politics. Even Dash is practising. He thinks its all been a waste in science. All those who know him also think he has not been known enough. I mean people keep calling him reg. credit card schemes and not what he knows about politics or movies or Physics. I think he know it all.

Alright I gotta be going. I am running out of my potential energy. umm I have to talk to other Bosons in my neigbourhood if they can lend me some. Those guys are real fat ass. They been sleeping and boozing all day long. Even farting while having sex. I am the one who has been assigned to fixing world’s psychological problems.

Alright m**fs bye bye.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s