The status here at mdashf

Dear people;

it has rarely occurred that I have posted a few status updates, here at mdashf. One of the thing is to tell you the online responses, which are pretty good, although there is a void in my personae somewhere as to exactly how good. Needless to say, I am always week on self inspiration. I am also far more week on taking too many outside inspirations, in a too personally forceful way. What I rather do, is go through a life-birth cycle of my own thought inspirations. So after I have taken enough coaxing and gasping, I say, lets go learn something. Thats what a Physicist’s life is like. We like or not we have constraint, while the world often motivates us to go for too much to acquire, its greed, it serves the evil and eventually we become unhappy and trapped in our own turmoil. I go through such phases, myself, a reason why I get out of this by a shear degree of will is to tell you I am doing well, because you guys love me so much, it helps me get out of the trap.

So I have a yoga-practice that I have discovered for myself. Its a 2 step retreat. (1) Close the door. (2) Sleep and meditate while sleeping.

Needless to affirm it helps a great deal. (One) Close the door, the world is too strict on attires, the fact obvious that you are sleeping from outside purview, it makes you look bad apple in their eyes. But you are neither bad, nor evil apple, right? (two) If you are sleeping you actually minimally expend your energy channels hence you gather the shear pristine optical window, in which to meditate. Because apparently door and windows and drapers are all off and optically tyrannous Lord Benevolent Sun isn’t that hard on the eyes, reason why Houses were invented, lest caves were also doing good, what was it before?

Basically this is an individual style. The public style brings further degree of tricks to claim relaxation into your body. I have a difficult time dealing with such public display of unanimity, I am basically a person close door. (Although I am anathema to that and; outdoorsy) I love my privacy solitude and ability to be relaxed, as much as I enjoy my public presence, which is basically a class room or library or lab or at worst a dine place.

[In theaters I often go alone, since it preserves the sanity of being a stranger. I hate pompous shows of online prowess in reading a review of movie and picking a date although thats precisely what I would be if I were to be totally honest with myself, in my defense I would meet a lotta pricks that way, than not, the pricks are often more evolved from their lesser attributes? But this is not to prevent future potential mates, I am just happy in groups of 2-3 at max, not 20-30, I have been wild in past, but you know; old age]

So the sheer presence in public makes me outdoorsy and opens my channels and doesn’t make me anymore prone to a outage of most vicious flow of energy and makes me more capable of dealing with a few and be relaxed. It happens the exact opposite way for me. Although in my defense I am disciplined and would often look like a maradi grass hemp, in a public gathering, paying no attention to anything said twice, and drooling like I would fall off, in High School I did fall off once or twice, my health and skimpiness are like a wave, the amplitude goes both ways, these 2 years I am healthy? And the next ones, I am about to fall off you would think, But in my defense, I am merely doing ground check-ups.

(Paying no attention to anything said twice; I don’t like copying, I have often greeted people constantly, missing all the times to get a response, then my policy; do that once at-most, and so soft and unmoving, like a quantum subtlety, they will merely go with the idea you just ignored them, in-fact it always happens that they catch the ignorance and not the inspirations. As I often say Holy Molly Guacamole, you never heard that phrase? Check that by a search on mdashf, many years ago it was used on this website’s predecessors. This phrase I picked up perhaps 2006-7 ish in one of those Mexican Chalupa Places?)

In-fact I can so not relax? I would go goosebumps, hilarious, attention craving in a humorous way, anything that I am (in)famous for, bawdy expressions etc, when I grow older I become more comfortable with it, so if you catch me in one of those back-yard stances, standing in the back and making fun of everything, you got the original natural ME. This I think is the raison-detre  of my life, to go no holds barred and be found making fun of everything, although not in a spooky way.

In high-school I made such a joke in my yoga class, and the teacher got peeved at me. There he didn’t say anything. We kept on making fun of his yoga lessons. (My joke was there is a rat running in my belly and me and my friend kept on laughing on the joke, while everyone was silently doing the yoga we two in the back were going that) The teacher (not yoga teacher but lit. gave me a really long lecture how my behavior was inappropriate, that was when I couldn’t even escape him, nobody cares so much for lit. teachers, but he was taking me to hospital on his scooter, the distance was several miles, and I could not move, given I was having an abscess. (or whatever its called, a painful swelling in the pubic region) I was trapped in 2-D. On a scooter, and immense pain from the abscess. The lit. teacher if they decide to can become kind of dominating. Okay I mean no disrespect he was very nice and fave.

On both occasions I have been taken to hospital for a medi check, when I was in high-school, it so happened that the doctors were straight couples.  [Recently also I came across a straight-couple doctors, supreme court should give them some kind of legal privilege bigger than any LGBT medical couple] But when I was young although I was shy, and still I am [I would be no holds barred and not shy, if the world would be ideal but its not] on two occasions the doctors had to ask me to take my pants off, just for regular check up, and this time for abscess. The man would first ask the lady-wife-doctor to attend to me. Then it would so happen the man has to do it. I don’t know when I made up my mind as to why. May be the man loved to see the girls attending the couple, so in Courtesy he would ask wife to check-up on boys? Then the wife would be confused b/w puberty and not? And benefit of doubt goes to husband. Just joking. But certain human conditions are hilarious.

So I started out writing the status. The status here is I am again on long distance travel spree. This time some teaching assignments have surfaced, and possibly going to be keeping me occupied for indefinite time. That said, it means uncertainty towards mdashf. Maintaining this website has been no mean task, there are a lot of pending tasks as the website is getting popular, I have a responsibility toward making better quality of some contents, which are anyway kind of technical, hence the sheen of clarity might be missing, in addition to technical correctness.

What I will try to do is to keep on spending some time on mdashf (now I can see, at-most 2 hours a day is also not too strictly possible by any means, in addition to how you won’t be capable of even gathering to sit along and write, that too gather some focus to correct and enhance content quality. There would also be a lot of commutation and assignments to be completed by me. Life gets exciting, competitive and demanding, so lets give it a chance)

One of the things you might have noticed, is I am trying to learn some new language and stuff. This will go on as and when I get free time and the impending conditions of my assignments and employment.

So all in all, dear readers, do read anything you like, pass it on, discuss if anything is liked by you or share among others, comments of agreement and disagreement are fine but not strictly going to attract much time, as I said, not much time would be available around in here. But I will try.

Lot and lot and lot of things to be taken into streamline. If not, thats fine too, this years resolution has been, study, write and think. There are other wishes, if they turn out to be horses, will keep you posted according to their consequential values.