Appropriate Conversations: Hey whats up, did you finish reading that book? Do you like reading while drinking coffee and for hours, here is a better place, here read this article (still somewhat uncomfortable if you do not have such conversations with someone). Work place conflicts are okay man, tons of us go through such, would you consider looking for a new job, better even just try to sort this out before it grapples your psyche (and that if you know you are really really close and don’t want to see someone in trouble)
Inappropriate conversations: (infinite of them, as regards each moron can come up with) Hey did you ditch your current girlfriend? Hey did your Boss finally say YES/No to take you on a conference, you both are same man (birds of the same feather flock together) . Hey did you leave your job and spending your night in a railway station? Hey did you leave your wife and sleeping with the hoes or are you simply finding it hard to file a divorce paper? I can be of help man, I know of someone who deals with divorce papers.
READ and Judge if this is appropriate or inappropriate especially for someone who is in the loop when it comes to social networking but you can see for yourself not someone who shares your bedroom worries. (by bedroom worries most people would read, gynecologist visits or something, potency issues, issues of the g**a in short) But here is someone who is claiming he can share your bedroom worries yet strikes a chord of discontentment. Why shall they be inappropriate and how much shall you bear before you say “none of their privilege to be in loop with me anymore”.
X; Hi. whats up?
X: Its all okay. Struggle. What more. Where Abouts? Do you have your last job or you are sitting (idle) at home?
Y: Someone is asking you (to ask me this :) ) ?
X: No worries, if u do not want to say, it is fine, just relax.
Y: If I do not want to say what? You are creating a “no worries” situation for yourself and asking me to relax. why you think I am not relaxed? Perhaps you would think after your question ( I am not relaxed, you have such a question). You relax first. Did I ask you (something like this) “hey Y, are you still married or you have left your wife?” all of a sudden. That kind of question you are asking and then asking me to relax.
X: NO COMMENTS, I just asked, in a friendly manner, it is up to u, if u like to say or not, and it appears from ur words, u r uncomfortable in talking to me, that is fine, no problem, u can carry on, talk to u some other time, bye.
(See how much inappropriateness, you barge into someone asking them something out of blue, that merits only some suspicion or surprise irrespective of your situation and then suave diversions to put matters to an end as if nothing was in the offing.)
Y: You can make 10 comments after even saying no comments. It just shows how comfortable you yourself are. In any case if you ask someone inappropriate questions you have to take the heat. If you continue this here , you will have to answer yourself, henceforward.
Conversation ends here, Y was still in a conversational mode, although did not respond. Here is what Y was still thinking.
“Friendly Manner”; I also asked your marital status in a friendly manner. Although I actually did not ask. I just gave an example. “Uncomfortable in talking to you”; May be you are also uncomfortable in talking to me, simply because you do not want to state the reasons why you asked. May be thats your mental construction to create “suspicious questions” and no other external reason. If you ask someone an important question he can ask you back, its not like two people are talking simple things.
Example of not simple things not friendly either;
1. Hey you still have your last job or you are sitting at home? (is a particularly rude question to ask someone and you say you are friendly) for your info my Organization has a 3 weeks break, but did you care to explain why you are asking such a question, (you did ) not (ask) “are you holidaying?”, simply “did you leave the job and sitting at home“. I know given another chance you will do such mind picking . Simply because you don’t even care to explain why you need to know a critical answer or ask one in the first place.
2. Hey are you married or you just dropped your last wife?
I think you (X) being a married person you now know how it feels to be asked an inappropriate question. WHY you did not answer that? I was also friendly and you are perhaps not comfortable in talking to me.
3. Did that project you are working on out of funding?
None of your business. Are you going to do my my future funding? Would you care to explain why all of a sudden you would pose such a question?
4. You were writing a book. I support writers whole-heartedly** . Why you stopped writing that book, I can help you with the preface. (**I grow immensely jealous about anyone doing anything positive and beneficial for them that I keep on introducing myself on these vague lines)
Would you care to explain all of a sudden why you started talking about something, I have never talked this with you. In-fact who even tells you my books stopped and more-so it needs your self-proclaiming expertise. Rude enough and no rights to barge into someone’s personal or professional life in the excuse of help. Did he seek your help, or is he not capable enough to find one agent who can actually help him do his preface, if in-deed that is the real status of the author. You are just making undue advantage of being in the loop. In result you just want to insult someone who is nice to you.